Love can consign us to hell or to paradise, but it always takes us somewhere.
How many times have we thought about how we can improve our relationship? Where do I go wrong? What can I start making right? Well... There can be a list of certain “DO’s” that if you always respect, will always bring the best for the both of you:
1. Honesty. Have you ever thought about improving yourself in a relationship by being honest with yourself first? Does your better self show up when you are with your partner? Does your worse self show up when you are with him or her? What if it is a combination of both? If so, what situations tend to bring out a particular side of you? In the end, do you like yourself in this relationship?
The honesty with which you answer these questions can point toward some important aspects about your long term relationship, happiness, satisfaction and the actual wish about you wanting to be in that relationship.
2. Attention. For dating between two people to work, one needs to always pay attention to the other person. No matter the time, the friends or problems in their lives. Relationships have been created so that you will be there for each other, to trust each other and help yourselves through problems. And if you are not able to help, just try and pay attention, listen closely to what they have to say.
Sometimes they just need you to listen.
3. Loyalty. Obviously, the strongest, most important characteristic that you have to have while being in a relationship is being loyal and having a person that gives you their loyalty too. Not having to guard a man or a woman from others outside the relationship is the best feeling one could create for their partner. So try to do this, be faithful, commit, and you will receive a lot more than you will give!
4. Trust. Trust is really complicated in a relationship. There are people that trust blindly, whereas there are some, just like me, who have gone through some serious issues throughout their lives that made them stop trusting, so they are having a more difficult time when a problem regarding this subject arises. There is a big problem regarding the ones that trust unconditionally, since they are the ones that can get hurt the fastest.
To allow a chronically untrustworthy individual to be one’s significant other is to create an inherently insecure relationship, which may ultimately lead to disillusionment. Evaluate your partner’s trustworthiness based not upon unproven promises or wishful thinking, but on a strong overall record of dependability, which you also have to give yourself to him or her.
5. Forgiveness. Everybody makes mistakes, that is why we are human and not robots. There is a saying in my country: “He who does not makes mistakes, does not really make an effort to work.”, so, in my opinion, each and every one of us is prone to failing. Just learn how to forget, forgive and move on if he or she is who you really want next to you.
6. Acceptance. Just like the presence of mistakes, the presence of flaws and doing things “your own way” is going to be a permanent issue in a relationship, at least in the beginning. So try to accept what the other person is trying to do, even though it is not on the way you would want it to be, because even though you may not see it, you can also have flaws on your own that are being accepted and embraced by the person that loves you deeply.
7. Teamwork. Start doing things together: find interesting recipes and cook something that you will both enjoy, prepare a get-away, go to a tourist attraction that is close to your city or in your city, visit museums, go to the cinema. Even better, if you both work in the same field, you can start projects together, help each other in the subjects that one of you cannot understand. Try to make the best of every moment spent together. You will understand know how important this is as years pass by.
8. A little bit of selfishness never harmed anyone. Do not forget about yourself. Even though it is perfect to do lots of stuff together, one always has to remember about itself: go shopping, take a break, go out with a friend, go to a spa facility, or just maybe close your telephone and do some sports all by yourself.
9. Empathy. Always think at what the other person wants. Is he or she sick? Does the other person need something? Can you do something for him or her? That does not make you their slave. These questions just prove that you care enough for the other that you will try to do your best to make him or her be even more comfortable than they already are.
10. Last, but not least... Intimacy. Why have I put it on this list? Because whenever two people get comfortable with each other, they lose each other in the daily routine, forgetting about the sexiness of a relationship, the hugs, the kisses and the wild sex that always happens at the beginning of a relationship. Why get comfortable with a quickie under a blanket?
Start re-exploring things that you have already done, things you never thought you will do, and things you always wanted to do to someone else and were too ashamed to do. He or She is your confidant, always remember that, and they should want to figure out more and more experiences next to the one they love.
What do you consider that a person should do while in a relationship in order to preserve it’s “freshness”? If you could change something in one of your past relationships, what would it be?