7 Things You Need to Acknowledge in Order to Stop Chasing Someone You Can’t Have

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My heart tells me this is the best and greatest feeling I have ever had. But my mind knows the difference between wanting what you can’t have and wanting what you shouldn’t want. And I shouldn’t want you.
Cassandra Clare

At one point in life, almost everybody has to face the challenge of something called a bad romance. Why is it called bad? Because it mostly harms you. Love should be the feeling that makes you feel like flying, like the whole world is yours.

The sensation that makes you think you can climb up any mountain and overcome any obstacle… In general, it is a feeling that enables you to really enjoy life. But when instead of feeling all these beautiful things, you have 2-3-4 a.M.

love sickness, when you wait by the phone counting the minutes and the phone keeps you in a never ending waiting state and when you finally get to talk to the person you crave for, you end up having endless fights, over and over again, returning to the same worn-out subjects, and every day seems to be the same as the other one then you have some of the flags which usually signal a bad romance.

If you are at a such moment in life, you have to work with your emotional intelligence and acknowledge the simple fact that if something is bad for you, then it certainly can’t be good for you and therefore, you have to stop.

But sometimes it’s difficult to judge this kind of circumstances and it’s almost impossible to make the difference between good and bad, right?Here are seven important questions you have to answer in order to shed some light between your thoughts:

1. Is he or she available?

Many times, we find ourselves falling in love with the wrong people. The wrong attribute here being the fact that they are not available, because they are already involved in a relationship. It’s only up to you to establish for yourself a healthy mind set through which you should know for sure that this is just something you don’t have to allow to happen, right from the beginning.

You are in charge of your own actions and after you have passed the teenage period, you should be wise enough to know that this is just something you don’t do.

2. Is there any reciprocity?

There comes a time, in any relationship, when you have to ask yourself if the feelings are mutual between the two of you.

Of course, as they say, in almost every relationship there is always somebody who loves more, but as long as you feel that in the balance of giving and taking, things are more or less equitable, then things are fine. Just don’t let yourself become attracted into a delusive love swirl, in which you end up giving everything you have, but without receiving almost anything in return.

It’s just not fair and you don’t deserve it.

3. You want them, because you can’t have them? 

This is one of the most common reasons for the greatest infatuations of all times. Starting with the story of the forbidden fruit. Every time we are told that we are not allowed to have something, regardless of the fact that it’s about an object or a person, they can easily become our most burning object of desire.

If under normal circumstances you would not be so attracted to that person, then you have to have the wisdom to make the difference between the two, and just stop going the wrong way.

4. Are you afraid of loneliness?

Many people who are stating that they have a love disease for somebody and they can’t let go no matter what, they admit that they are actually scared to dead of being alone.

This usually happens when you get to the last part of a long relationship, when things are slowly but surely falling apart, but you just stubbornly refuse to let go. You have to acknowledge the fact that being on your own it’s not necessarily equal to being lonely. You just have to surround yourself with your best friends and spend great quality time with them.

Also, note that for each individual it is important to have at least a period in life in which they should live on their own and discover the breakthroughs that come along with this self revealing experience. 

5. Do you have too much free time?

Another malicious common aspect in this kind of situations is having too much free time.

If you are not such an outgoing person and you enjoy spending your free time, after work, in a cozy atmosphere at home, you might be having a problem in being on your own. But you have to be smart enough to get to the conclusion that this is not the best reason to keep hanging on to somebody who is not right for you.

So start thinking of new hobbies to add in your list of activities or consider other socializing activities in which you can engage as soon as possible.

6. Is your vision about this person close to the reality?

They say love is blind. And in many, many cases this affirmation turns out to be horribly true.

Usually you get to this conclusion after a long time after you put an end to everything and you remember all the things that you didn’t like about the other one, but chose to ignore back then. And now, you are like “How could I have ever accepted all of those things and pretend that they didn’t bother me?!?” So why procrastinate all of this? Pick up a pen, make a list of things you love and hate right now and really give it a thought.

Is this person really how you like to think they are?

7. If they say “no” can they really be “the one”?

Many people who are caught up in a love maze, claim that they can’t get out, but  actually don’t want to. They act as if they found “the one”, so they stubborn about letting go and are even able to fight for it.

The people in situations like these should just stop for a moment and ask themselves a very simple question: can this person really be “the one” if you have to work that hard for it?... The correct answer is pretty obvious right?

Are any of the situations above something you identify yourself with? If so, how have you dealt with it? Please share your thoughts by commenting below.